"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
