What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
