yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
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