That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
People in love make me want to vomit
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Randomize
