where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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