y did u give ur computer a hand job?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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