didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
