it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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