Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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