My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
