A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
