I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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