yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
