I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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