Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Randomize
