i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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