I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Randomize
