i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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