well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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