The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Someone came in the potted fern
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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