People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
