sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
