I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I deserve this hangover.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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