no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize