You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize