I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
