Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
MIDGETS
????
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize