have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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