Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
