sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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