I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
