Best friends brother. Beat that.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
