At least make sure they are 18
Why
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize