4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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