the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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