Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
