If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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