I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Life is so much better after having sex.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
