In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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