just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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