my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
