what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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