do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
