I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
