I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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