I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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