What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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