I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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