I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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