I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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