you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
