when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
