Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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