I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Randomize