alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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