How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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