Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
It was a blind-side dick pic.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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