some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize