Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
