This dress was meant to end up on your floor
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
