direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
