I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
