cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize