they need to just BURY HIM!
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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