so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
